First one, then the other

Posted by munineye on 01-02-2008 in Marriage vs. Cohabitation

I think that cohabitation is a great plan for a couple who are thinking about getting married. I think they should live together for about two years before making any real plans to get married. That way by the end of the first year, both should be pretty comfortable with each other and used to the way their partner handles things. It also gives them plenty of opportunity to get out before they make the huge investment that a wedding and a marriage.

Personal experience:
I was dating this guy for about five years. We started talking about getting married by the end of the first year. After three years, we moved in together. Recently, I moved to another state because of my education and the opportunity for what amounted to a free ride. If I hadn't lived with him, we would probably still be together, and I would be just as blind to his habits as I was when we started dating. But now I know what kind of person he is, and that helped form my decision to break the relationship. I don't think I would have known that if we hadn't lived together.

So yeah. Simple way, without all the explanation: Cohabitation, then marriage. It's like a trial run.